"I don't know about that, I only know that I didn't put it there."

Who thought that the simple job description of building maintenance worker would encompass such tasks as cleaning human feces out of an elevator or scraping three-day old dried Kraft Dinner© brand cheese sauce (sans noodles) from a fire escape stairwell? Did I mention that these things were found in multi-million dollar condos? Did I mention the feces? Yeah.